Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
birth control should be required to get into college
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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