Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
