ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize