He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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