Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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