just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
