Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
