Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize