Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
