Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
