I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
home. puking in laundry basket.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
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