You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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