It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
