I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
