O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
