Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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