if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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