K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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