Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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