Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
