Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
