we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
