His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
