Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize