A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
