Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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