Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
