Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
