No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
