everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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