really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
