Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
