No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
