if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
