i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
