she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I need to sanitize my soul.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
