We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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