he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
