i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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