He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
