should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Less talking, more tequila
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
