idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
