if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
