that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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