Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
