your thong is hanging out like whoa
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
