I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize