I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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