I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
