I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It's shark week go big or go home
True strength comes from lack of pants
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
