She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
