Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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