well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
