It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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