I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
