and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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