when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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