Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
