bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
