I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
