ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
