i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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